NEVER ENDING TROUBLES 1
by xxxforbiddenxxx2
Summary: Bella and Edward finally go on their trip to Jacksonville. Edward needs Emmett's help to find a certain someting for him and Bella on their big night in Jacksonville. Being in Jacksonville they run into one of Bella's old friends. R&R PLEASE!
1. Chapter 1

**NEVER ENDING TROUBLES**

"Edward! Come on! We're going to be late!"

"Relax Bella. Remember, I could run pretty fast."

"Ok, Edward. You may be able to run fast, but I don't think that you'll be able to carry all of my luggage…and me."

"Fine. I'll call a taxi of something."

Bella was going crazy. She was so exited to get to see her mother again. Going to Jacksonville, well, she thought I was going to get exposed. But I know how to take care of my self.

"So, Bella when does the plane leave?"

"Oh, the plane leaves tomorrow at 12:30 A.M, gate 3, and flight 2."

"Ok, I'll be back. I'm going to go out for a little with Emmett."

"No problem. Come back soon. Love you."

"Love you too."

I gave Bella a quick goodbye kiss and left to my house to pick up Emmett.


	2. Chapter 2

**NEVER ENDING TROUBLES**

"Where the hell are you taking me?!" _and do you think you could slow down a bit? __**I**__ don't even drive this fast._

"Relax…and I'm not going that fast Emmett. It's only 197 miles per hour," I said sarcastically. "We're going to Walgreen's. I need your help on something… something concerning condoms."

Emmett tried to hold in his laughter, but he couldn't help it. He burst out in a roar of laughter.

"Laugh all you want my brother, but I think it's time for me and Bella to…"

"OK! OK! I'll help you with your sex life, but please, PLEASE, don't go into detail about you and Bella. Ok?"

"While you're talking about not going into detail and stuff, next time you and Rosalie make love, please don't make so much noise. Ok, **'tiger'**?"

We finally arrived to Walgreen's.

"Whoa!! A whole isle of gloves!"

"Damn it Emmett! Be quiet!"

I look up and that's when I saw what Emmett was amazed by. One whole, double sided, isle of condoms. It was amazing. Every possibility was right there, in front of me. My whole love life depends on what flavor or size of condom I choose to buy. I never knew this, but my life depends on this isle.

"WOW." Emmett and I both said.

I started looking around the isle and that's when I saw a girl staring at me and Emmett. She was a blonde. I'm not surprised.

_HELLOO sexy. I get the one in the leather jacket._

I looked down and I noticed that I'M the one wearing the leather jacket. Huh. I guess Bella was right, I DO dazzle people. I can't blame them though, look at my, I was made in heaven.

"WOW!!! There's banana flavored ones! I never saw these. I'm guessing their new in stores. Oh, oh! Look, they also have ice tea," Emmett shouted, "Hey, what do you think of ice tea?"

_Damn it! They're probably gay. The hot guys are always gay. Why is that?_

**Quick note: the girl had a few sexual pictures of her, Emmett, and Edward. I left that out.**

Oh lord. Why does that girl always think so sexual about us….well, me.

I started looking through all the condoms not being sure on which one to get for me and Bella. I saw a Coca-cola one. Does Bella like Coca-cola?

"They also have chocolate flavored ones. Does Rosalie like chocolate? I'll get it anyway. All the fun we can have!"

"Ew!! Emmett please don't think sexually about my sister when I'm near you. It's very unpleasant."

Emmett gave me a quick grin, but his eyes still wondering around, same with his mind.

I left Emmett in his curiosity and kept on looking around the isle. I saw these condoms that were cold at first and as you kept on 'working' with your partner, it started to warm up. The harder you did…it, the warmer it got. Weird, huh? I held the small box in my hand. Emmett, on the other hand, had a cart full.

I walked up and down the isle, looking for something good.

_I wonder what Esme is doing right now._

"Emmett, are you thinking about Esme?"

"No, why?"

"Well, someone is."

"Shit! I see Carlisle! Run to next isle."

"Go! Go!"

We ran to the next isle, at a human pace, so no one would notice that we were… (Looking around…eyes to the left…eyes to the right. I see no one) vampires. Emmett was so worried and scared that he forgot how to breathe, and we don't even need to breathe. After a silent pause, Emmett got his breath back.

"Hello Emmett, Edward. What are you two you guys doing here at 1:30 in the morning?"

I looked around the isle that we ran into not knowing what we just got ourselves into. Realizing that there were all kinds of colorful makeup supplies and nail polish surrounding us.

"Um… Edward is just helping find the right kind makeup fights me best. You know Rosalie and Alice. No one understands me these days. I want something to bring out my facial expressions. Something different, unique, something that no one has ever seen before."

"Trust me Emmett, it'll be a sight to see," Carlisle chuckled.

"Ha-ha, very funny. But I'm being serious, I was thinking about going with Cherry, Cherry Red, but Edward told me that Tusk, Tusk Orange was more of my color."

I looked at Emmett with the 'You- Are- So- Stupid' look.

"Now for my eyes. Ocean Blue or Ever Green?"

"Oh, Ever Green. Definitely," Carlisle mentioned sarcastically.

"Finally, someone takes me seriously," Emmett whispered.

I looked at Emmett, wanting to know why he came up with a stupid excuse. I seriously think that he has some brain damage. First Rosalie and now this? How much more stupider can he get?

"Ok, guys. I'll you two at home. And don't take too long in the makeup section, people are going to start to think that your weird," Carlisle said while leaving.

"Don't worry, Carlisle, Emmett already accomplished that for us."

_Edward, I really know what you're up to. You don't have to hide it from me, I'm your father. But I understand I'll always be there for you._

I'm really grateful to have Carlisle by my side. He turned his head towards me and I nodded to him saying thank you. While Carlisle left, I'm going to take advantage to get a few more… condoms.

_Tusk, Tusk Orange__ and __Ever Green__ really Do look good on me. I wonder why I never did this before._

I turned around to Emmett who was applying eye shadow on himself. I think Emmett was having too muck fun with the makeup. I grabbed him by the head saying:

"Come on beautiful."

"You messed up my eye shadow! I'm going to look like a freak now! and do you really think I'm beautiful?!... I'M BEAUTIFUL!!!"


	3. Chapter 3

**NEVER ENDING TROUBLES**

There were so many choices to choose from. I was so confused!

"Do you need help?"

"Um…" I turned around and saw that blonde girl looking up at me. Wow! She had a big mouth, literally, "No. I'm ok. I'm just… browsing."

"Well, if you're just browsing, I'll just help you, if you would actually need it."

_And maybe I could help put them to us too._

I chuckled under my breath. She looked at me with curiosity wanting to know what I was laughing at.

_Did I just say my thoughts out loud? Oh no, I think I just messed everything up with him. Or maybe he's a male physic. That's hot._

"So thanks for the help…"

"Oh, Rachael. And you are?"

"I'm… Emmett Cullen. Thank you Rachael, for all of your help."

I hope Rachael is Emmett's type of girl. Rosalie is no good either. If she doesn't like Bella, that I don't like Rosalie. Fair is fair. She asked for it herself.

I started looking around for Emmett. Where the hell could he have went?

_Why does Rosalie always get so mad each time I do something! I WANT FREEDOM!! I'M BRINGING HER TO COURT… in the next family meeting._

Shit! Rosalie is here. How did she find us? Is she stocking us?

When I finally found Emmett, he was trying to soothe Rosalie.

"Come on Rosalie. I mean, look at all of them. Aren't these condoms enough for you? Think of all of the possibilities. I just don't understand why you're so mad."

Why is Emmett so stupid? I really don't think that Rosalie is mad because the lack of condoms in this store.

_I don't care about the condoms. He knows that I don't like __Walgreen's__. It's so… cheap._

I walked over to Rosalie and Emmett, but as soon as I reached them, Rosalie started yelling at me.

"What's your problem!? Why did you bring Emmett here? You know I don't like this place! You seriously need to go get a life. Get a new friend or something, but not Emmett."

Wow! I've never seen Rosalie so mad. I didn't think that she hated Walgreen's that much. Rosalie kept on babbling on about bringing Emmett here and than she started making fun of Bella. HOLD UP…MAKING FUN OF BELLA! IF ANYONE IS GOING TO MAKE FUN OF BELLA IT'S GOING TO BE ME!

"Hey! Watch what you're saying! Number 1, you have no right of making fun of Bella. Just because I fell for her and not for you, that doesn't mean that you have to hate her. Number 2, Emmett chose to come with me," that was the moment when Rosalie gave Emmett the death glare. He deserved it, "Number 3, I do have a life. I have been living for about 110 years now. If you haven't noticed yet, I've lived longer than you have. And number 4, why are you so hung over Emmett? It's not like he would actually sleep with someone else. He could, if he was human, but while he's a vampire, he wouldn't be able to resist his temptation for the blood. So this is where he ends up with you. He couldn't possibly kill you, so you're his only sex toy. Sorry to break it to you, sister." I let out at long pause for a moment to calm my nerves.

"Oh yea. By the way, you're husband or boyfriend puts on makeup and THINKS that he's beautiful."

"But you called me beautiful. Was that a lie? What else have you lied about that can hurt me in such an emotional way?"

I might have been a little harsh to Rosalie, but someone would have to tell her sooner or later. I was surprised though. Rosalie said nothing back. All she did was laugh at Emmett and walk away.

_Edward, I think that was a little too harsh. I'm so proud of you though. Finally, someone told her the truth. I wasn't able to tell her because I won't have my sex toy any more. And you really hurt my feelings. I felt so pretty when you told me I was beautiful. And know I fell... ugly. __**sniff**_

Now I know that Emmett really is stupid. Who would say that about his girlfriend/wife? At least I have someone on my side. Suddenly Rosalie came back with lipstick and eye shadow in her hands.

"Here honey. If you're going to wear make up, use CHERRY RED and OCEAN BLUE," Rosalie had to be kidding. She really can't be taking this so seriously.

"Oh really. I though that TUSK, TUSK ORANGE and EVER GREEN brought my facial expressions out more."

**QUICK NOTE: ****EVER GREEN**** REALLY IS EMMETT'S COLOR. SO, JUST IGNORE ROSALIE'S MAKE UP TASTE FOR EMMETT.**

"I feel pretty again!" Emmett starting yelling out again.

I FEEL PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY. I FEEL PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY.

If you ever heard Emmett sing you won't be laughing right now, you would be crying.


	4. Chapter 4

**NEVER ENDING TROUBLES**

Emmett and Rosalie were looking around the isle for something 'fun'. I heard them whispering to each other about something involving me.

"Hey, Edward. Can you come here for a minute?" Emmett called.

I walked over to Emmett, scared about what he was just going to tell me. I walked slowly and cautiously to make sure that Rosalie wouldn't do anything to me because of our little encounter before.

"What do you need to tell me Emmett?"

"Edward I don't know how to tell you this, but me and Rosalie kind…of…" I think that Emmett was being more cautious than I am. I think he knew that if he did something wrong I would tare him up in less then a second.

Annoyed Rosalie finished the sentence, "Emmett and I had sex on your couch. The one in your room."

"What!? Why?"

"Well you went to Bella's like you every night. Rosalie and I went into your room to look through your CD's. Rosalie went to go sit on the couch and that's when she sat on the remote control. The stereo turned on and our song went on. So that pretty much turned me and that's when the 'incident' happened."

"What is your song?"

"Well I can't sing it out loud."

_Let's talk about sex babe. Let's talk about you and me._

_Remember that song? Why do you have it in your stereo, Edward? Is that your song with Bella? Us, brothers, finally have something in common, other than always being horny._

_Ha-ha-ha._

"I'm not always horny, and that's not our song."

Is it really that noticeable? When ever I'm with Bella, I want her; I want her in every way possible. But my temptation for her blood might override me and I might just kill her. But I won't do that, would I?

"Let's talk about sex babe. Let's talk about you and me." Emmett started to sing.

"Can you shut up? Is there anything else you have to tell me while you're at it?"

"Yea, Emmett and I all made love on your piano. We it in a movie and we wanted to try it out."

"Holy Freaking Funk! Are you kidding me?" it was silent for a moment, "I'm going to have to burn all of that! I understand about the couch, but not my baby. Why my piano?"

I could see that Emmett felt bad, but not Rosalie.

_You deserve it Edward. After you told me off today, you should've seen this coming._

"Emmett, when did this happen?" I asked.

"Um, about two days ago."

"Uh! I made out with Bella on my couch yesterday!"

I turned my back on them and walked away disgusted. Why couldn't do this somewhere else. Do like seeing me like this? Why couldn't they do this on Carlisle's bed or on Jasper's dresser? Or maybe in their own rooms. It's always my stuff.

_At least Emmett did it good and hard._** (Rosalie's thoughts)**

_Damn! Only if we could reproduce. _**(Emmett's thoughts)**

I was going crazy! I only came here for condoms, but Carlisle came, no problem, he left… quickly. Then that Rachael girl, who wanted to put those condoms to use with me, she came up to me and scared the living shit out of (even though I'm dead and yet alive). And yet she is still oddly staring at me. Oh no, it didn't finish yet. Rosalie had to come along, bringing her anger out on me. What next? Alice, Jasper, and Bella are probably going to show up now? Carlisle also probably told Esme that Emmett and I were here.

"Edward!"

That's when I heard an angel call my name.

"Edward! Over here!"

That wasn't an angel…that was Bella!

"Bella, what are you doing here…at 2:47 in the morning?"

"Alice dragged me here with Jasper. She told me that she had a vision involving this girl that was here hitting on you and if I didn't get here soon, you would do something stupid," Bella said while pointing behind her at Alice.

Alice was holding Jasper's hand. She waved at me, teasingly, with her free hand.

"Why do you do this to me, God? I never did anything to you! Tell me what I did wrong. TELL ME!" I murmured while looking up.

"Dude, who are you talking to?" Emmett wondered, looking up to where I was looking to see who I was talking to.

Alice and Jasper finally reached us. Wow, they where slow.

_Do you think Alice would get turned on when we get home? I mean look at all of these gloves. I'll get some gloves just in case. I wonder how she looks like with a red thing on. Hmmmmm..._

I never knew that Jasper had such a dirty mind. And his emotions that were so horny. Oh god, I'm horny now to. What did I do to really deserve it?

"Hey, Hey, Jasper, control your feelings… and you mind. And gross! Think about that when you actually see it."

Bella looked up at me to tell me something, she hesitated at first, but she finally asked me:

"What are you looking… for?"

Bella started looking around and noticed what isle we were in and what I was looking for.

"Oh, Edward. You think it's the right time for you and me to…"

"NO! Remember what I said Edward?! No details, NO DETAILS! I don't need to know about your love life between through you guys. Gross!"

Emmett was being so immature.

"Yea and I don't need to know about you and Rosalie," Bella shot back," Edward…wow. Umm…are we really? Edward…wow! I mean, are you ready?"

Bella was speech less. She couldn't even speak. I put my arm around Bella's waist. I picked up the heating condom and asked Bella what she thought about it. Just by asking her what she thought about it she started to blush.

_Bella is blushing! Maybe she's getting a turn-on. And Edward has his arm around her waist. Ohhh…! _

Jasper is so stup… right. I quickly took my arm away from Bella.

"What's wrong Edward?"

"Oh. It was just a little iche."


	5. Chapter 5

**NEVER ENDING TROUBLES**

"Wow!" I exclaimed. I was just a little too happy.

"What?"

"Bella look. There's a cream that acts like a condom. I just put it on my 'special present God made me' and presto. It's now a condom!"

Emmett and Jasper ran over to where Bella and I were standing. Without even hesitating, both of them took two boxes of the cream.

"Maybe we should get a few Jazz. What do you think? Oh! We can't forget about Carlisle."

"Yeah. They're so loud! They're both like that grizzly bear that we attached. I think that I went deaf through one of my ears. Or maybe my eardrum popped right there and then."

"Were you guys just talking about me?"

NOOO!! This couldn't me happening. This couldn't be happening to ME! I'm the good one in this family. Why is Carlisle here… With ESME! This is not good. Why is Jasper so literal in describing things? Why was Emmett and Jasper so loud? Maybe their eardrums DID pop. Good! Now I could curse them out without them knowing what I just said. Or maybe some brotherly fun, like a few punches, kicks, you know the whole brotherly love thing.

"Oh, hi Carlisle. What a surprise seeing you here at 2:00 in the morning. So what brings you here?" I asked in a casual voice.

"I could ask you the same thing Edward. But I wanted to pick up a few things."

"Like condoms?" coughed Emmett.

Carlisle gave him a glare, the "death" glare. Those scare me. –shiver-

_Edward are you __still__ looking for condoms? Don't you think you should hold off on your little plans with Bella? She's still so young. Do you even know if she wants this?_

"Edward I'm so happy you chose to do this. I didn't want to say anything because I thought you would get mad, but I guess you wanted the same thing I wanted." I didn't think Bella was going to be this happy.

I looked at Carlisle and raised my eyebrow at him. Ha! I was right and he was wrong. Finally! I've been waiting for this moment for over one hundred years. But why is he so worried, I can't even reproduce. At least I don't think so…

Carlisle turned around to look at Jasper right in the eyes.

"Oh yea, before I forget, Jasper…" Carlisle locked his eyes onto Jasper's, "I'm not that loud with Esme. If you think we're loud…huh! I'm guessing you haven't heard you and Alice together. By the way, please never sing Lets Get Loud ever again. One, you're a horrible singer and two, that WAS my favorite song. But no any more because you ruined it with your horrible singing voice…no offense"

Oh no, here it goes. The argument starts. I'm not getting in this one again. Nope, not going to happen. Whenever Carlisle chooses to start an argument, some how I always end up in it. And if Jasper decides to bring up embarrassing moments into this conversation…it better not involve me…AT ALL. I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and we simply walked away. From a distance I could hear Carlisle calling me. I'm not turning back this time. They always used cruel lies to make me go back. I remember when they told me that Lenny died. I remember it like it was just yesterday…

"Emmett come back here!" I heard Carlisle call. How was it possible to hear Carlisle over my blasting music? I don't know, but did it.

"No! Carlisle! Just because everyone else wears clothes doesn't mean I have to! I'm my own person! I'm independent! I'm me! I never felt so free in my life!"

(And this is where Emmett runs freely, not caring who is watching.)

"Emmett as your father, I'm demanding you to at least wear some underwear! No one wants to see your…special present."

"But I'm…SUPERMAN!! They never had a SUPERMAN like me before. I'm a one and only. I'm an exclusive, so be happy you have me."

"Ok, Emmett, I'll let you be who ever you want to be, as long as you at least put on some boxers or something to cover you up in the private area. Superman has some type of boxers on."

"Noooo. Not when they're horny! And as I said before… I'm an exclusive. I don't follow anyone!"

"Ohh. That's why it's sticking up like that. I thought it was just because you were cold," stated Rosalie. Surprisingly she said that with a straight face.

"Edward! Come down stairs! We have something to tell you!" Carlisle called me, "Lenny died!"

"NOOOOO!!!! NOT LENNY! MY ONLY FRIEND IN THIS WHOLE WORLD THAT ACCEPTS EM FOR WHO I AM! WHY DID LENNY HAVE TO GO SO SOON!?!?"

"Wow Edward. It's just a cat. What's your problem?" Why is Emmett so judgmental? Lenny wasn't just a cat; he was a friend, a family member.

"Edward, Lenny didn't really die. I just needed you down here. I knew you wouldn't come down stairs for the real reason I needed you."

"Oh and what is the real reason?"

"I need you to bring Emmett down so we can put some boxers on him because that towel isn't covering enough."

"No. I won' help. You should have never lied about Lenny and because you did, you have to pay the price now."

I just walked away, not caring what the towel is showing and hiding on Emmett. I'll let them suffer with Emmett, just like I suffered with that little joke about Lenny.

"Um Edward?" I heard Bella call me.

"Oh Bella. Yea, what do you need?"

"Um do you think I should get a pregnancy test…you know, just in case, if something goes wrong."

What can possibly go wrong? I'll always protect Bella, in every way possible. But if it makes her happy, then I'll let her get one. It won't hurt, won't it?

"Yea sure. I'll be right here when you're done."

Bella gave me a warm smile disappeared from my sight and Jasper entered it.

"What do you want Jasper?"

"Just a question I need to ask you."

"Ok shoot." What kind on idiotic question is he going to ask next? The sequel continues…

"Edward, before today, did you ever really think about having sex with her, like before?"

I nodded cautiously at him, not knowing what will come next.

"When, when did you really think about it?"

"Every night when I watch her sleep, each time I kiss her, each time I hold her, each time I think about her Jasper. When ever she crosses me I think about it."

"But if you two want to do it, don't you have to turn her into a vampire first?"

"That's what I'm scared of. Carlisle says that vampires can't reproduce, but Bella is human. And I think we have sperm from what I can tell."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm just going to do it. It's just…it's true love man. This doesn't come around everyday."

"Are you sure she's the one? Do you really love her?"

"Yes Jasper. I love her. I won't be able to live without her. She's meant to be with me even though I think I may kill her. But that doesn't mean I don't love her. Jasper, I'M COMPLETELY POSSITIVLE IN LOVE WITH BELLA!"

As soon as I finished saying that, Jasper gave me a sly smile. He knew something I didn't know.

"Wow! Edward. I love you to!"

I turned around to see Bella standing there with the pregnancy test in her hands. Her face was all red.

_Edward forgot to mention that he wants to have sex with her when she blushes. HA! He gets such a turn- on when that happens. I wonder how he's feeling rite now. He's so sensitive._

He had to ruin this moment, didn't he? One of the best moments, he just has to go ahead, say the stupidest things and ruin it. What will I ever do with him?

"Jasper, I'm not sensitive. At least I don't sing Let's Get Loud!"

"What!? How do know about that, Edward!?"

"Who doesn't? Everyone in the house heard you the first time. The last couple of times were just scaring… oh and by the way, you're a very good singer."

"Edward that was mean. Apologize to Jasper."

"Thank you Bella. Yea, Edward. Listen to your 'true love' and apologize. You really hurt my feelings."

"Oh please. You're such a good liar." And he was which was pretty sad.

"You know what? Bella would probably start singing Toxic by Britney Spears," Bella threw her mouth open, "sorry Bella. And Edward, you would must likely start singing Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake. You would probably pop my ear drums…again!"

"It's already popped you idiot. You probably don't know what the hell I'm saying right now."

"WHAT!??!!??!!"

"Case proven. Come on Bella."

♫ I'm bring sexy back, yea, the mother bys don't know how to act. Yea… ♫

Noo. Jasper is singing again. Even though he's a pretty good singer, I don't appreciate him singing Justin Timberlake in public.

"Jasper! JASPER! JAZZ!" yelled Emmett.

"What?! I was in the middle of my song! I was just starting to get my _groove_ on."

"I know that's why I'm trying to stop you."

"OK you stopped me, bye."

♫ I'm bring sexy back, yea, the mother bys don't know how to act. Yea… ♫

"JASPER!! STOP, JUST STOP. OK? SHUT UP. DON'T SING IN PUBLIC. YOU'RE EMBARRASING THE WHOLE FAMILY."

"Actually Emmett, you're the one that's embarrassing us." stated Alice.

"Sing for Alice, but not for us."

"Dude, Emmett, you know about that too?"

"Who doesn't know?" questioned Rosalie.

"I thought Edward was just kidding around about the whole family knowing about me singing when you know… I'm…having….it."

"See, Jasper, babe, I told you that you were too loud." Alice said softly.


End file.
